Some of the fathers who lost their children wrongly to Child Protection Services that Health Impact News has covered.

by Terri LaPoint
Health Impact News

It is Father’s Day. The day that we honor dads. The holiday began decades ago as a day to celebrate the strong, heroic, protective men who inspire, encourage, and push us to be the best we can be.

Most of us have a beautiful, nostalgic image of what today is supposed to be like, but for too many of our readers, that image is a painful reminder of what could be, what should be – but isn’t.

Children and parents are being separated by the hundreds of thousands in the United States. There are many fathers who want nothing more than to be with their children today, but a judge or a social worker has decided that they can’t be.

If they had done something wrong, the bitter separation might be somewhat easier to bear, but many dads today are in a situation that was created by a false allegation or by asking for a second medical opinion. They wanted to protect their children and give their best, but people who see their children as little more than dollar signs have stolen that basic human right from them.

We say in our culture that we value fathers, but attitudes in our courts, media, and entertainment reflect otherwise.

Fatherhood is the noblest calling that a man can have. It is the opportunity to impact and shape the lives of those who follow in his footsteps, as he provides for, protects, and comforts his children.

To a young child, a dad is bigger than life, even better than Superman. To the child who is now an adult, father is still the person who we turn to when life doesn’t make sense or we need strong arms to guide or comfort us.

The presence of a child’s father in one’s life impacts that child in countless significant ways, and the impact is lifelong. The absence of a father also makes a profound impact in a child’s life.

The very concept of fatherhood, once celebrated and embraced on all levels of society, has been shattered and the role of father has been undermined by changes in culture and in policies.

Many men have learned after encountering the strong arm of Child Protective Services that being a father sometimes no longer means that a dad can protect his children or have a voice in the decisions that affect his children. It may mean that he must watch, helpless, as forces stronger than him abuse or torment his children. It can even mean that he cannot even see or visit his own child.

There are fathers today suffering unimaginable pain – dads who would give anything just to hear their child’s voice, or have the joy of chubby little hands placing a construction paper card in their hands with the words “I love you Daddy” scrawled in crayon.

There are children today missing their fathers, wondering if they ever think about them or miss them (they do), who are longing to sit again in their daddy’s lap.

There are also adults missing elderly fathers who are held captive by Adult Protective Services and guardians, adult children who want nothing more than to hear their dad’s voice again telling them that everything is going to be ok.

The father-child relationship is one of the most fundamental, crucial relationships that exists, and when anything happens that interferes with that relationship, for whatever reason, it leaves a deep gaping hole in the soul. The pain – in the parent and in the child – goes to the core of one’s being.

I understand some of that pain. I grew up not knowing my father at all. I used to dream of my real father riding in like a knight in shining armor on a white horse to rescue me. I longed for that wonderful daddy/daughter relationship that many of my friends enjoyed. I started trying to find him when I was in junior high. I didn’t understand why he didn’t look for me.

I attended a concert in Greenville, South Carolina, during my senior year of college. A group called “Harvest” played. Near the end of the concert, they sang a song that changed me forever. The lead singer Jerry Williams talked about how he would tuck his little girl into bed and tell her that he would protect her and take care of her – those things that a father does, things that I didn’t really understand.

He said that no matter what kind of relationship that we have with our earthly father, God is our Father who loves us unconditionally. Even if our father cannot be there, God is there, and He promises never to leave us or forsake us.

When he sang “I Am Your Father,” I began to understand, really for the first time, a little bit about what the love of a father means. That love is for all of us, no matter how old we are. That day, I began to heal.

It is an old song, but it still touches my heart deeply even today.

My prayer for you is that, whether you are a father longing to be with your children, a child missing your father, or one of those blessed individuals who is privileged to have a great relationship with your children and your father, that you will know the love and comfort today of your heavenly Father, the father who loves you, and your children, more than any force on this planet.

May God soon bring about the day of restoration of families, and may He hold and protect all of the children, and comfort every one who is missing a loved one today.

Lyrics to “I Am Your Father” by Harvest:

In the morning I hear you calling
Calling my name out loud, my child.
I am your Father.
The struggle you had last night
And the battle that seems to forever rage
I’ll fight
‘Cause I am Your Father.

No matter how dark it seems,
I will forever be guiding each step of your way.
I’ll never leave you
And I won’t forsake you.
I’m here to stand in your place.

When the morning begins to fade
And the courage you had within your heart
Goes away,
I’m still your Father.
When the struggle is raging again
And you’re thinking there’s no hope
No reason no way to win,
I am Your Father.

No matter how dark it seems
I will forever be guiding each step of your way.
I’ll never leave you
And I won’t forsake you.
I’m here to stand in your place.

If you’re broken-hearted and full of pain,
Haven’t got the heart to make it one more day,
Oh, just call on my Holy Name.
I’ll be there.

If you’re broken-hearted and full of pain
Haven’t got the heart to make it one more day,
Oh, just call on my Holy Name.
I’ll be there.
I’ll be there (I’ll never leave you)
I’ll be there (I won’t forsake you)
I’ll be there.