Christian Teaching on Sex and Marriage vs. The Actual Biblical Teaching

by Brian Shilhavy

This is my third article on the “Christian Family” that exposes Christian false teachings on “the family” and examines what the Bible actually teaches instead, specifically the New Covenant teachings of Jesus and others in the New Testament.

This first article was:

The Concept of the American Christian Family is a Myth and is NOT Found Anywhere in the Bible ^[1]

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The second article was:

Jesus’s Teaching on Family vs. Christian Teaching on Family – Polar Opposites ^[2]

This is then the third article, which will deal with the explosive issues of sex and marriage.

The purpose of this article is to show how the Western Christian teaching on sex and marriage leads to the devaluing of children, and also leads to slavery to the State (Government), as it requires their “authority” to issue a “license” where they then get to legally define the relationship, to make it “legal” as a “marriage.”

Such a definition of “marriage”, where it is not legal unless licensed by the Government, is found nowhere in the Bible.

This is an exhaustive topic, and I have been studying it for many years now, and so this article is but an introduction and summary of the topic, that will hopefully spur true believers to research this topic more for themselves, by going to the source documents found in the Bible, and stay clear from Christian teachings on the subject.

My objective in writing this, is to help people be released from their guilt and slavery to this Christian system, and specifically how they define “family”, and be free to search the Scriptures and follow the actual teachings there, which includes mercy and grace to everyone who cannot meet the standards which our Christian culture beats into us on these topics.

It would be helpful to read my first article on this topic, The Concept of the American Christian Family is a Myth and is NOT Found Anywhere in the Bible ^[1], so that you can learn that whatever “dysfunctional family” you came from, as defined by Christianity, is similar to all the dysfunctional families that we encounter in the Bible, including ALL the heroes of the faith.

In other words, if you come from a dysfunctional family (if you don’t, you’re the very rare exception, not the rule), you are in good company with all the heroes of the faith recorded in the Bible.

Marriage in Ancient Cultures and the High Value of Children

Here in the United States, the whole concept of “marriage” is based on Government permission, where someone who is “licensed” to perform a “marriage” along with a “marriage certificate” issued by the State is needed to be able to legally call a man and woman who are living together and having sex as being in the legal “married” state.

This is drilled into us through our culture. Watch this clip from a TV show in the 1960s called The Dick Van Dyke show. The wife, Mary Tyler Moore, has been hiding something on their insurance policy, and reveals that it is her age, that she lied about when they got married. Since she was only 17 at the time, and not 19, they actually believe that they are not legally married anymore, even though they had been together for years, and already had a child.

It starts at the 20:20 mark:

“Husband” and “Wife”

The two English terms used to identify a man and a woman as “married” according to the laws of the State, are “husband” and “wife.”

If a man and woman are living together and having sex without government permission and a license, the terms of “husband” and “wife” are seldom used to refer to them, and instead terms like “partner” or “boy/girl friend” are used, or if they think they might get the government permission and a license in the future to be able to call their relationship a “marriage,” they might use the term “fiancé.”

It might surprise most Christians then to learn that the English words of “husband” and “wife” are not found in the original text of the New Testament writings. It is 100% a post-Biblical concept based on Western Culture, which gives legal status by these two words.

Now if you search your English Bible for these words, “husband” and “wife”, you will get many results. But this just shows the Western bias of these English translations, starting with the Government-authorized King James version ^[4].

The underlying Greek words, however, are the common words for “man” and “woman”. The context of these common words for “man” and “woman” determines if the English translators want to use the words “husband” and “wife”.

Let’s take the English word “wife” as an example. If we search the KJV English version for “wife”, we get 87 matches. If we search one of the more modern translations, such as ESV (English Standard Version), we get almost as many matches, 79.

Read this story from the Gospel of Luke about the birth of John the Baptist, where the English word “wife” is used four times.

In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, of the division of Abijah.

And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord.

But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years.

Now while he was serving as priest before God when his division was on duty, according to the custom of the priesthood, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense. And the whole multitude of the people were praying outside at the hour of incense.

And there appeared to him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense. And Zechariah was troubled when he saw him, and fear fell upon him.

But the angel said to him,

“Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John.

And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, for he will be great before the Lord. And he must not drink wine or strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb.

And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God, and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared.”

And Zechariah said to the angel,

“How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years.”

And the angel answered him,

“I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I was sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. And behold, you will be silent and unable to speak until the day that these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time.”

And the people were waiting for Zechariah, and they were wondering at his delay in the temple. And when he came out, he was unable to speak to them, and they realized that he had seen a vision in the temple. And he kept making signs to them and remained mute. And when his time of service was ended, he went to his home.

After these days his wife Elizabeth conceived, and for five months she kept herself hidden, saying,

“Thus the Lord has done for me in the days when he looked on me, to take away my reproach among people.”

(Luke 1:5-24)

The word “wife” which I bolded in red, is the Greek word γυνή (gunē), the common word for “woman”.

Here are some other verses in the New Testament that use the same Greek word gunē, where it would be inappropriate to use the English word “wife” as a translation.

And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone. She came up behind him (Jesus) and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased. (Luke 8:43-44)

Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.”

And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” (John 2:2-4)

But I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols. (Revelation 2:20)

Marriage

When we think of the word “marriage” in Western culture, we generally think of the “married state” which includes the license from the state asking for permission, and then also a licensed “minister” or “justice of the peace” who is authorized by the government to “conduct” the “marriage”, and the life that follows of this “married” couple which often includes having children and “building a family.”

In the cultures from which the Bible was written in, however, this concept of marriage is not present.

Here is an interesting comment from The New Unger’s Bible Dictionary for their entry under “Marriage” which illustrates just how difficult it is to understand this concept in Western culture:

Marriage: The rendering of several words and phrases in the Heb. and GK., meaning to be “master”; to “take”, that is, a wife to “magnify” or “lift up” a woman; to “contract”; to “dwell together”; to “perform the duty of a brother”; to “become,” that is, the wife of one.

In all the Hebrew scriptures there is no single word for the estate of marriage or to express the abstract idea of wedlock. – The New Unger’s Bible Dictionary, Moody Publishers, 1957 – p. 817 (emphasis mine.)

The English noun “marriage” is most often translated from a Greek word that refers to the “marriage feast”, or what we call in Western culture the “wedding” which is usually separated into a “ceremony” where all the legal stuff happens to make sure the State approves it, and then a “reception” afterwards to celebrate.

In the Bible, they just skip the “ceremony” and start partying.

What generally replaces the “ceremony” from Western marriages in the Biblical culture for legal purposes is a contract, or “covenant”, between the two families representing the bride and the groom.

It is understood that the bride comes from a family who is losing a daughter, because she will join the family of the groom. This is still practiced in many cultures around the world today. It is customary for the family of the groom to pay the family of the bride a “dowry”, to help offset the loss of human labor in the bride’s family.

Young women were highly valued for their ability to produce children, the more the better, as children were a sign of wealth. So the more children one had, the wealthier they were.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.

Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. (Psalms 127:3-5)

Women who were “barren” or could not produce children, were seen as not being blessed by God, and looked down upon.

In the story about the birth of John the Baptist that I quoted above, Elizabeth was barren and had no children before John, and when the angel announced the coming birth of John the Baptist, she said:

“The Lord has done this for me,” she said.

“In these days he has shown his favor and taken away my disgrace among the people.” (Luke 1:25)

Children were seen as a gift from God, and to not be able to get pregnant was seen as judgment from God, whom they believed controlled the “opening and closing of the womb.”

The story of Jacob in the Book of Genesis, who married two sisters, Rachel and Leah, is indicative of this belief. Leah was blessed with more children than Rachel, which made her jealous.

When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”

Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” (Genesis 30:1-2)

The story of Jacob, who was renamed “Israel”, is also an example of how men achieved wealth and status from the amount of children they had in ancient times, as well as how many women they had in their family to produce children.

In Jacob’s family he had four women who produced 12 children for him. Polygamy is never seen as something bad in the Bible, but as the sign of a wealthy man. Rachel and Leah were considered co-owners of Jacob’s estate, and they both had servant girls, or “slaves” in their household, who also bore children for Jacob. Those children would then join the estate of Jacob as part of his family inheritance.

The Kings of Israel had huge families because they had huge harems of women to produce children for them. King Solomon had 1000 women in his harem, but was apparently more than he could handle!

He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. (1 Kings 11:3)

In summary, the main points here are that in the Biblical culture, marriage was seen as a contract between the bride(s) and the groom, with the goal of producing as many children as possible, and increasing one’s wealth and influence.

In the Christian Western culture, by contrast, marriage is seen as something legalized and regulated by the Government, and children are seen as a burden, where large families are generally frowned upon. Polygamy is usually outlawed completely and considered immoral.

Dating and Sex

I can define and summarize the downfall and collapse of Western culture with two words: “casual sex.”

Sex between a male and a female is the ONLY way to bring new human lives into the world, and propagate the human race. This is what God created sex for, and for most of human history, which has been mostly agrarian-based societies around the world, children were valued and desired.

Today, in Christian Western culture, sex is valued for pleasure and entertainment, which is the first step in devaluing children, and thereby the first step in declining populations in Western culture.

Since sex is valued more than children, if a sexual encounter produces a child by mistake, the most common response is to kill the unborn child and move on.

Most Christians don’t believe in abortion, but they participate in the sex culture just the same, whether they admit it or not. They participate in it by the way they dress, which is to dress “attractively”, which means trying to attract the sexual attention of the opposite sex.

Rather than teaching their children the value of entering into a covenant relationship with someone who also values children, “dating” is encouraged to attract members of the opposite sex.

A lot of this goes on right in the Christian Churches in their “youth groups.” Even the leading women in most churches, including women pastors, dress sexually attractive showing as much of their bodies as they can get away with, IF they have the figure to show off.

And nobody protests.

What once was the attire of prostitutes trying to make a living from sexual attraction, is now the attire of most women in Western culture, including Christian women.

There is nothing even close to the dating culture seen in the Bible, because sex is not seen as something to just enjoy, but as the means to build wealth through children.

Prostitution, of course, has been around since the dawn of man, and men in ancient cultures participated in it, but it was looked upon as immoral and usually associated with the worship of demons with “Temple Prostitution.”

But these prostitutes at least earned an income for their sexual services, whereas today in Western Culture women are taught that casual sex is fine, and enjoyable, and they engage in sex for free, getting nothing in return most of the time except the temporary enjoyment of it, usually from men who only see them as a sex object to enjoy, for free.

“Women’s Liberation and Feminism”, for the most part, has enslaved women, NOT empowered them, at least when it comes to sexual relationships.

And if they are “Christian women” who believe in marriage and having the Government license it, they are usually taught to have small families and generally practice “birth control.”

Hollywood and the mass media totally promote the sex culture, defining who the “sexy” woman and man should look like, and portraying happy young people enjoying life with free sex.

It’s all fake.

In real life, every sexual encounter one has without the protection of a contract in place between the consenting parties, is dangerous with potential life-altering consequences that could affect you the rest of your life, in so many ways including your health.

The United States and most other wealthy nations today are facing huge population crises with declining populations, which can all be traced back to the modern day dating and sex culture, which puts a higher value on sex as entertainment than it does on producing children.

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is being promoted today as a way to have children without sex, and increase the human population. But IVF is only available to the rich, and it involves creating several fertilized eggs that become babies, most of which are destroyed, as eugenic ideology is still trying to create perfect humans while eliminating the weak and helpless.

True Sexual Cultural Revolution is Needed

If the United States and Western culture in general can still be saved, which is highly doubtful in my opinion, young people who are in their child-bearing years need to completely change the way they think about sex and marriage.

Here is the moral principle to live by when it comes to sex when you are young and in your child-bearing prime ages: the true purpose of sex is to create children.

If you are just enjoying sex in your young, child-bearing prime years, you are devaluing children and God’s purpose in sex, in exchange for selfish desires which can have disastrous consequences.

From ancient times women valued the job of raising children as highest honor before God, and the best job in the world. Unlike today, they were seen as outcasts in society if they had their own man (husband) but could not produce children for him.

Today, by contrast, women who choose to get married young and raise children are seen as the outcasts, as it hampers the modern Western woman’s “freedom” to go out into the world and compete with men in their careers, while the best path to do so is to usually drop their panties and give powerful men free sex.

Marriage and raising a family is not for everyone, however, and I am not stating that the only successful path in life for a woman is to lock into one man and raise children, or that women should not compete with men in business and other places based on their skills and talents.

This is what Paul wrote in his extensive teaching about marriage in I Corinthians chapter 7:

I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.

But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.

But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them.

For this world in its present form is passing away. I would like you to be free from concern.

An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided.

An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
(1 Corinthians 7)

As I have noted in previous articles, Jesus demands our total devotion and loyalty, even above our biological families, and our marriages.

The principle that sex is primarily for the creation of children still stands, but having no sex at all and devoting one’s life to service to the Lord, is an even higher calling, but one that few can obtain without special grace and strength through the Holy Spirit.

Jesus taught something similar in Matthew chapter 19:

The disciples said to him,

“If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

Jesus replied,

“Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

(Matthew 19:10-12)

The word “eunuch” here is from the Greek εὐνοῦχος eunouchos, and the most common definition is “an emasculated man, a eunuch in the palace of oriental monarchs who support numerous wives the superintendent of the women’s apartment or harem, an office held by eunuchs.”

But it also had a wider meaning to include “one naturally incapacitated” and “one who voluntarily abstains from marriage.”

Jesus gives 3 definitions in the passage in Matthew 19: “they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven.”

Not everyone is called to participate in sex, and the higher calling is actually to devote oneself to full devotion to serving the Lord. Among those that Jesus said “were born that way” I believe could include those born with no attraction to the opposite sex, who may feel rejected by society and end up in a homosexual relationship.

This would be another example of using sex for personal pleasure rather than to produce children, the main purpose of sex. These people may be among the special people Jesus referred to as “eunuchs” that were “born that way.” It could be that their ultimate fulfillment in life is sexual abstinence, and a life devoted to serving Christ.

But if they slip up and participate in sex anyway, they are no worse than heterosexual people participating in sex just for the selfish enjoyment of it, rather than the purpose of producing more children.

Practical Advice for the 21st Century

So here’s my advice from someone who is at the end stage of his life and has experienced both married life and a life of abstinence.

If you are young and are attracted sexually to another young person, do NOT proceed without a contract in place. I do NOT recommend the teaching of Christianity on this issue, as it is not biblical, and one does not need permission from the government to sanction your relationship.

View every sexual act you are contemplating as potentially creating a child, and decide BEFORE you proceed who is going to be involved in raising and providing for that child before you get in bed with someone. All methods of birth control are evil and most have very serious side affects, including the danger of becoming infertile when you do decide you want children.

Before you start any kind of sexual relationship, make sure you and your partner agree on what you are going to do if you get pregnant. Make sure BOTH of you are in agreement about raising the child, and each one’s responsibility in doing so. Decide who will continue to take care of the children in the event you break off the relationship, as well as who gets what assets that you may share while you are together.

Then sign a contract, with witnesses, or whatever way you need to make sure it is a legal contract in the place where you live. The last thing you need is having the State intervene and decide all these things for you. Call your relationship a “marriage” if you want, but do NOT ask the State to give you permission.

If it is done properly, and you may need the help of a good attorney, then each party should be able to sue the other party for breach of contract in a CIVIL court, as you do not want to go anywhere near any family courts, where corruption is rampant.

If the person you are attracted to sexually does not agree, and I am addressing mainly women here as you should absolutely, in NO circumstances, be giving away free sex, then do not get into bed with that person. Wait until a real man of God comes into your life, who would gladly agree to your terms and do so publicly, but in a private contract, not in a State-approved marriage.

If you want to go to college first or start a career first, especially to serve the Lord better, then that is fine, but commit to a life of sexual abstinence while doing so, and do not wait too long and miss your prime years for being able to produce children.

Using birth control to enjoy sex while you further your education or career should NOT be considered an option, as it could mess you up for life and prevent you from ever having children in the future.

These are the types of things that need to start happening in Western culture, if we want to start valuing children again, and reverse the rapid decline in the populations of wealthy nations.

“Free” sex is NEVER free. There is always a price to pay, and it usually leads to slavery.

Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.

Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call understanding your kinsman; they will keep you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words.

At the window of my house I looked out through the lattice. I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who lacked judgment.

He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in.

Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. (She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home; now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.)

She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said: “I have fellowship offerings at home; today I fulfilled my vows. So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt.

I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love!

My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey. He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon.”

With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk.

All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. (Proverbs 7:2-23)

Comment on this article at Created4Health.org ^[5].

This article was written by Human Superior Intelligence (HSI) ^[6]

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See Also:

Understand the Times We are Currently Living Through

Where is Your Citizenship Registered? ^[8]

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The Bewitching of America with the Evil Eye and the Mark of the Beast ^[9]

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Jesus Christ’s Opposition to the Jewish State: Lessons for Today ^[10]

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Distinguishing True Prophets from False Prophets in These Evil Modern Times ^[11]

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Who Controls the World? by Dr. A. True Ott ^[12]

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Exposing the Christian Zionism Cult ^[13]

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Insider Exposes Freemasonry as the World’s Oldest Secret Religion and the Luciferian Plans for The New World Order ^[14]

Identifying the Luciferian Globalists Implementing the New World Order – Who are the “Jews”? ^[15]

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The Brain Myth: Your Intellect and Thoughts Originate in Your Heart, Not Your Brain ^[16]

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Fact Check: “Christianity” and the Christian Religion is NOT Found in the Bible – The Person Jesus Christ Is ^[17]

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